Vagaries of Satisfaction

Richard Geldard on the Dissatisfaction of Life Unlived

In much the same way that we instinctively feel unseen gazes upon our backs, I feel an unseen shadow pursuing my life. It lurks always out of sight, though never out of mind. It dives back into the bushes just before I catch it in my swinging glance.

Its hiding place is inward, the buzzing simultaneity of consciousness. A whir and blur of traffic all jamming their horns. The dense noise from all directions creates the perfect hiding place for the insidious stalker. It casts its unsettling stare into my soul from within the mess of impulse, emotion, memory, and anticipation that populate my mind.

What of it I’ve learned so far can only be approached from the side, alluded to and evoked through reference. As to its overall context, author Richard Geldard places it well:

“Many aspire to a higher or more fulfilling life, but the seeking is usually only an impulse of the moment, unrealized and not sustained. A vague sense of dissatisfaction arises in many people about the quality and nature of their present lives, but from that dissatisfaction no real sense or specific goal emerges. The telos or goal/fulfillment desired remains an inarticulate feeling, and these vague feelings do not find expression in the conscious mind as ideas which can…